DJ: WHAT IS THE FORMULA FOR AN EELS' SONG? HOW DO YOU GO ABOUT MAKING ONE?

E:oh, thats a very good question, because there's a very specific way i
right every song.

DJ:IS THERE? OH COOL.

E:i never get tired of answering this... i get up every morning when im in a
writing phase and go out to the backyard, and i go back to the chicken coup.

DJ:YEAH.. (beginning to realise e's joking not being serious)

E: it has to be the first one i see, and it sometimes i have to run around
the yard and stuff.

DJ:YEAH YEAH YEAH.

E: and then i go inside, and bring it into the kitchen.. and i slaughter it.
and i actually have to slaughter it in the kitchen. at my house its a rule
that u slaughter the kitchen in the backyard. but for the song writing thing
i have to do it in the back yard. its very messy but it works.

DJ:YEAH YEAH, RIGHT.

E:cos i did this all once and it worked and i wrote a great song. so i have
to do it everytime now. and i slaughter the chicken in the kitchen, and
worry about the mess later. and i hang the er, the rest of the chicken, the
carcass if u will. i hang it over the stove top.

DJ:YEAH

E:and then i open up the refrigerator, and i take out a coca cola?

DJ:YEAH

E:in america we keep them cold, you wouldnt understand.

DJ:NO NO NO NO. IF WE WANNA GET COLD, WE JUST WALK OUTSIDE

E:yeah. so, then i pour half a glass of coke, and put the chicken's head in
the glass with the coke, and i leave it out so that it can get warm... this
is like, it could be an english cocktail at that point. and then i go into
the dining room and circle it three times, and one time i circle it
backwards.

DJ:SO UR STARTING CLOCKWISE AND THEN GOING ANTI-CLOCKWISE?

E:yeah. and then i sit down and i open this... i have the same newspaper,
its from march fourth, 19.........83

DJ:THREE YEAH

E:and i have to open it to page three of the sports section. i open it out
on the dining room table, and then i sit down, and  i have the guitar there,
its always there, its always ready. and i put the guitar on my lap and then
i write my song.

DJ:BRILLIANT. Y'SEE, IVE IVE TRIED THAT...

E:hmmm?

DJ:BUT IT DIDNT WORK FOR ME.



DJ:ALRIGHT UR ON DREAMWORKS, WHICH IS SPEILBURGS RECORD LABEL. HAVE U MET
HIM? IS HE GOING FOR WORLD DOMINATION?

E:er, we're very close friends. i call him S. his good friends call him S.
infact i was just a couple of weeks ago, right before i left for this trip,
i was over at his house and he had a barbeque. ive known him for years,
and... er... i dont like to brag, but ive helped him with a lot of things.
one day he was saying 'E, im working on this movie.. and i dont know what to
call it, er, something Park, something Park'. and i said ' Steve, S, ...
Jurassic.

DJ:JURASSIC... BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT.. AND DID YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH
E.T.? D'YA KNOW WHAT E.T.'S SHORT FOR?

E:yeah yeah, for a long time it was just called T! we were out driving
around one day, smoking cigars in his mercades and he looked at me and he
went, u could see the lightbulb go off over his head. and he said 'E.T.,
E.T'. thats it.

DJ:OKAY E, THANKYOU VERY MUCH FOR JOINING US TODAY. WHERE ARE YOU GIGGING
NEXT? DO YOU KNOW?

E:well, 'gigging', thats a professional musicians term.

DJ:HMMM, AND IM NOT A PROFESSIONAL MUSICIAN.

E:as a radio personality ur not alowed to say gig. we will be performing...

DJ:OKAY, WHERE WILL YOU BE PLAYING?

E: 'PERFORMING' (said in a weird way)

DJ: 'PERFORMING'

E:uh, we're coming to england, we're doing a whole 'nother tour in england
in july. all over the place.

DJ:OKAY, THANKS FOR JOINING US, AND UR ABOUT TO DO A SESSION FOR US AS
WELL.WHICH WE'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO.

E:didnt we already do it?

DJ:HUH HUH HUH. WELL WE HAVENT 'EARD IT YET. WE'RE JUST ABOUT TO HEAR IT.

E:okay, id just like to apologise in advance for how badly its gonna go.





E:alright ladies and gentlemen, right now the eels orchestra 2000 would like
to try a number the kids have been snapping their fingers to the last couple
of months. this one is called Mr E's Beautiful Blues.

*cue the coolio blues song, with the great trumpets at the end type thing*

E:okay. im glad u enjoyed that one. now, lets try another one. ladies and
gentlemen, i have to warn you. if you get the slightest bit seasick you
might want to change the station for the next four minutes,. here's a song
we call flyswatter.

*a brilliant pirateship-esque version of flyswatter with funky ship type
music (?) and plenty of "a-hoy's!" everywhere*

E:oooh, okay. butch just has to run off for a moment to vomit. he got a
little bit seasick on that one. and as soon as he comes back... ah! he's
back. and now, we'd like to do... this is a personal favourite of butch and
myself. originally it was called Butch's Diary, but we felt that the public
was not ready for that title, so we changed it to ... Jeanie's Diary"